The Cubs announced today they will be removing both dugouts and replacing them with “Extra Premium” box seats in 2013, in an effort to stretch the capacity of the cozy, but small ballpark. The dugouts on each side of the field will instead feature seating for about 40 fans.

“Most of our players are from AAA or AA, so they’re used to playing under adverse conditions,” said Cubs president Theo Epstein. “And having no dugouts shouldn’t hinder their play. But we feel it’s necessary to compete in MLB these days. The players are on the field for half the game anyway, so we look at it as wasted space.”

Players will be allowed to sit in the aisles while the opposing team is on defense. When queried about where the manager and coaching staff would sit during games, Epstein said, “All of our coaches and the manager have family seats situated very close to the field, so it won’t be a problem. Plus those seats are paid for so no loss of revenue will occur.”

Photoshop by Pat Riot

John F