Martin Kaymer’s Ryder Cup-clinching putt had barely finished rattling around the cup when Mitt Romney went on the offensive, blaming President Obama for the Americans’ epic collapse at the hands of the Europeans.

“President Obama has practically declared a war on American golf,” said Romney. “Under his watch, American participation at all levels in this grand sport has plummeted. When I’m elected, I pledge to get Americans back on the golf course where they belong.”

When Obama learned of Romney’s latest attack, he pointed to his own love of golf as the reason he’s not to blame for its decline in the U.S.

“Mitt Romney would like to blame me for America’s Ryder Cup loss,” said Obama. “He says its my fault participation in the sport has declined recently, but what he fails to mention is that I’ve personally done all I can to keep golf courses open during my four years in office. It’s not easy to play more than 100 rounds of golf during that time, but I found a way.”