White Sox pitcher Jake Peavy revealed today he will stop talking to reporters because he has run out of catchy, folksy cliches.
In a bizarre interview after Thursday’s game, Peavy, after saying “We have to take it one wheelbarrow at a time” and ‘This won’t cut it in the henhouse”, simply stared at the reporters for several minutes, then admitted he had nothing more to say. He simply had used up his extensive collection of hard to understand, rural southern expressions regarding a poor performance on his part.
“That’s it, I’m tapped out. Don’t know what to say now,” he said. “You fellas have a good possum hunting night.”
He then retired to the showers. A spokesman for the White Sox stated that an intervention was planned by broadcaster Ken “Hawk” Harrelsen, whose never-ending vocabulary of strange, hillbillyish jargon should supply Peavy with enough verbiage to get him through his one last start of the season.