Last evening, the umpiring crew did a peculiar thing during the White Sox game. Many fans were baffled when famed umpire Tim McClelland decided to relax at the backstop for the at-bats of  Dayan Viciedo and Gordon Beckham, returning when there were two strikes.

“We umpires are sick of standing around and calling strikes for these bums. We’re taking breaks,” said McClelland. “Usually the scoreboard says 0-2 before they walk up. This is a perfect time to chill and get a beer.”

Sabermetric sites have recently crunched the numbers and come up with some interesting results. Beckham reaches an o-2 count a strange 102% of of his at-bats, taking into account future plate appearances, and Viciedo is the only player this year to have an 0-2 count before stepping into the batters box, due to accidentally swinging at pitches from the right side not realizing others were currently hitting.

The White Sox are experimenting with using duct tape and horse blinders to get Beckham and Viciedo to take their first pitches this year.

Brew Dreesus