Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenly spent much of the team’s 2011 season entertaining fans and his own taste buds with a smorgasbord of ballpark food, gaining nearly 125 pounds in the process. While he was able to drop the weight during the off-season, Brenly has prepared for this year’s weight explosion by getting his “fat jeans” out of storage.

“Look, I’m a realist. I can’t just pretend I’m going to keep this svelte physique all season long while I’m downing 5-6 hot dogs and a dozen ice creams per game,” he said. “Thanks to this elastic waistband and poly-denim fabric, I can gorge all I want!”

Brenly’s much slimmer partner in the booth, Len Kasper, wasn’t happy with the switch.

“First of all, now our jeans don’t match during broadcasts, which I think fans might find disconcerting,” said Kasper. “But even more importantly, Bob’s fingers will once again be too fat for his guitar. How are we supposed to rock out during post-game jam sessions at hotel bars when he can’t even play a single chord?”

Photoshop by Kurt Evans

Heckler George