Just one day removed from wiping their hands clean of the Bernie Madoff scandal, Fred and Jeff Wilpon have found themselves in a new mess. In an interview with “Entertainment Weekly,” Hollywood mega-director, Michael Bay revealed that the cash strapped Mets’ owners approached him for advice on potentially injuring their left fielder, Jason Bay.
“We met at a multi-millionaire’s shindig, no biggie. Jeff mentioned how much he loved my films, and was prodding me on my knowledge of small explosives,” Michael Bay said. “He said they were cooking up a scheme and offered me three hundred bucks to put a tiny detonator in Jason’s glove. We’re not related by the way.”
Fred Wilpon vehemently denied the charges and released a statement saying, “Jason Bay is our left fielder today, and will be in the coming years. We think the world of him and really believe he will burst on the scene this season.”
He later retracted that statement, and said the following, “I didn’t mean ‘burst’ as in blowup… ya know what? Just take our word for it. We never met Michael Bay, but we do love the second Transformers movie, it’s a classic.”
Michael Bay claimed the Wilpons were just trying to save face.
“I don’t want to make them out to be murderers,” said the blockbuster director. “The explosion was only going to be enough to give him a few nicks and cuts. They said he had an easily attainable games played clause in his contract and this would void it. I know all about those, you should see the incentives I get on my piece of crap movies.”
Jason Bay shrugged at the acquisitions thrown at his bosses, and admitted he wouldn’t even mind, asking “as long as they put me out of my misery, I can’t get any worse, right?”