The White Sox have recently taken a new approach to lighting a fire under the disappointment that is Adam Dunn.

“Bat under .200 at any point this year, and be required to wear the ugliest uniforms in the history of sports: the 1976 ‘shorts’ throwback,” said GM Kenny Williams. “I’m serious, dude.”

Dunn has taken notice of the threats and is currently batting .294 with a couple dingers in spring ball.

“Dunn no want to be seen in those silly uniforms,” he said. “Dunn only wear jorts during hunting season or batting 4th for my softball team in my hometown of Houston.”

White Sox brass has extended this threat to Alex Rios and Gordon Beckham, though neither seems to have a problem wearing the hideous throwbacks.

“I talked to Alex [Rios] and he thinks anything that takes attention away from his first step for balls batted over his head is a good thing,” said Beckham. “Plus, I look adorable to the ladies in anything.”

Brew Dreesus