Taking their cue from the city of Chicago, the Bulls have decided to commemorate St. Patrick’s Day by dyeing Brian Scalabrine bright green.

“Hey everybody, look at me! I’m greener than the Chicago River!” the Bulls big man exclaimed. “They even said they’re gonna play me for an extra two minutes in the 4th quarter on Saturday … unless the outcome is still in doubt, of course.”

While Bulls brass is happy with the dye job, they have expressed disappointment that even the harshest chemicals known to man — the same ones dumped into the Chicago River every year — were unable to alter the color of Scalabrine’s bright red hair.

“It’s just impenetrable,” said Gar Forman. “But I still feel this was a better call than dressing Scal up as a leprechaun and making him carry around a pot of gold all week. We saved that one for next year.”

Heckler George