The Stanley Cup Champion Boston Bruins were honored at the White House on Monday, but the event was marred when Senator John Kerry showed up to the event with two black eyes and a broken nose he sustained during a brawl with defenseman Zdeno Chara.

“It was supposed to be light contact,” said Kerry. “But after Zdeno checked me into the boards face first, I had no choice but to drop the gloves with him. I got some good ones in too, though! You should see his face!”

Chara, who had no visible injuries, laughed off the incident.

“Old dude got lippy,” he said. “So old dude got beat down.”

Heckler George