Armed with several converted t-shirt cannons and canteens full of extremely high-proof eggnog, the Blackhawks’ rotating cast of fourth line stars has been let loose on the streets of Chicago to spread jolly-good cheer.

“We see children everywhere whose visions aren’t ripe with sugar-plums and it kills me,” said center Jamal Mayers. “So we load the cannon up with some sugar, a few plums and BOOM! Moms love that.”

The crew – which includes Mayers, John Scott, Daniel Carcillo, Andrew Brunette and young Ben Smith – has been tracking down stolen nativity scenery, adding backup vocals for carolers, being boisterous at office parties, re-stringing fallen lights, helping build snowmen and even adding a few more presents under select trees and Hanukkah bushes.

“Little Jimmy didn’t get the puppy he wanted?” said Brunette. “We catch a squirrel, wrap it and you got your pet. They eat anything. Freakin’ adorable.”

Folks around town have been pleased with the effort thus far. It might be all the nog, but Chicagoland has been noticeably more cheerful with the fourth line at their task. The only complaint so far came from a mall Santa.

“I know the crowd to see me got pretty hectic, but the line didn’t exactly need bouncers,” said Ted Hill, longtime mall Santa. “Kids get the wrong impression around Christmas when you ask them if they’re on ‘the list.’”

By Dan Bradley

Bandwagon Dan