After an abominable 21 incomplete passes in last week’s game against the Giants, the Patriots are forcing Tom Brady to fly to games in coach with the general public.

“It’s ugly when you have to resort to body odor and screaming children,” said Patriots’ coach Bill Belichick, “but here in New England, we do what it takes to win.”

The star QB was spotted by paparazzi after his flight to New York for Sunday’s Jets game, sporting what appeared to be spit-up in his otherwise perfect hair.

“You forget how bad it is,” said Brady. “Chatty passengers, half-cans of soda, tiny packs of peanuts that probably aren’t fair-trade. Giselle won’t even look at me.”

Bundchen declined to comment, but Brady elaborated.

“I don’t think there’s any excuse for me throwing interceptions or making poor reads or poor decisions with the football,” said Brady. “Lack of leg room and poor lighting really put things into perspective. I don’t think I’ll be making these mistakes in the future.”

Bart Eoder