A day after requesting that prosecutors pay his attorney fees associated with his recent mistrial, disgraced former pitcher Roger Clemens is now demanding that authorities also replace the cache of steroids he flushed down his toilet in case there were raids on his home.
“My wife and I have lost 30 pounds of muscle mass since this thing started,” said Clemens. “Between the attorney fees and my various other financial commitments, we just don’t have the money to replace all that HGH and Andro we got rid of. Someone has to pay for this travesty.”
Clemens, who has long denied using steroids, doesn’t view this as an admission of guilt.
“This is about money and fairness, not drugs,” he said. “The government needs to buy me more steroids to replace the ones they caused me to lose. In no way should people view this as some sort of admission of guilt. I don’t do that. Just like I never did steroids. Now will someone please tell the feds they owe me a six-month supply of HGH?”