A “heat of the moment” expletive was issued from Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler to Offensive Coordinator Mike Martz during the first half of the Bears’ 39-10 victory over the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday night.

Although a welcome distraction from the whiny voice of NBC color man/know-it-all Chris Collinsworth, it was a cause for concern regarding the relationship between the battered quarterback and his coach. After Wednesday’s practice Cutler explained the verbal chewing out had nothing to do with football, but instead with a heated video game rivalry.

Martz is one of the last NFL coaches to maintain an operational Nintendo N-64 gaming system. The popular late 1990’s system travels with Martz with only one game, MarioKart 64, which is commonly known as the best racing game ever. When asked about the cursing, Cutler finally fessed up.

“Listen, Martz always gets to be Yoshi. He’s the fastest character with the best handling. I have to race with the Princess,” said Cutler. “Unless you’re Tim Tebow, you really can’t know what it’s like trying to win over an NFL locker room using a character in a tiara and a pink dress.”

Martz quipped back, “Guess ‘Pretty in Pink’ can’t handle the fact that I own him in Bowser’s Castle.”

Cutler then retorted, “You see? He’s in my helmet all game. He’s all like, ‘Remember when I knocked you clean off Rainbow Road with that red shell?’ and ‘You can’t even beat me on Moo Moo Farm!’ It drives me nuts. I couldn’t take it, and I snapped.”

Currently, Martz holds a slim 599-587 edge in all-time MarioKart challenges with Cutler. Cutler’s Kart rating is a consistent 98, but he thinks it could be higher if he’d quit getting sacked by green shells on a consistent basis.

Manny L. Scoreboard