With Jacksonville struggling to find a replacement for starting QB David Garrard who was cut at the end of training camp, a path has been cleared for Tim Tebow’s return to Florida. Analysis of a little-known verse in the Book of Revelation has in fact revealed Tebow’s return to his home state is part of the plan of God himself.
According to Revelation 59, verse 15: “And the mighty jungle cats shall cut free its once leader of men. But descending from the western lands shall appear a fearless entity, a man from the lush sunshine state returning in all his glory. And he shall lead the lynx to glory and prominence, carrying his people on his back, plowing through obstacles with his mighty legs, and whipping all enemies with his unorthodox throwing motion.”
Currently a backup on the Broncos, where starting QB Kyle Orton is about to be run out of town for his perceived mediocre performance, Tebow is unfazed by the lofty and Biblical expectations that have him heading to Jacksonville.
“If it is God’s decree, what do I have to worry about?” asked the Florida native. “I’m good, man. I am just looking forward to getting out of Denver. What type of heathens would make me a third-string quarterback? I am actually feeling kind of vengeful. Those firstborn sons better watch out.”