Concerns about Roy Williams’ hands have been reinforced after the wideout dropped a fan’s baby during a photo opp after practice Wednesday. Luckily, the only thing that was injured in the incident was Williams’ reputation as a pass catcher.

“As they say, I heard footsteps and panicked,” said an embarrassed Williams, who was startled when he saw a member of the defense, still wearing an opposite colored jersey from the final scrimmage, walking up behind him. “It’s only preseason though. If I was holding that kid during the regular season, I would’ve held on no doubt.”

This isn’t the only incident involving Williams and his butter fingers. Teammates have cited instances when Williams dropped something of value only to see it break after falling to the ground.

“I tossed him my iPod once so he can see what kind of tunes I listen to before games,” said Johnny Knox, who has voiced his displeasure about being replaced by Williams as a starter. “That idiot let it slip right through his fingers and fall to the ground. Cracked the screen. And they think this guy can catch more footballs than me?”

He also dropped one of Lance Briggs diamond earrings in the grass and had to stay up all night looking for it with a flashlight in the dark. And to the dismay of the janitorial staff at Olivet Nazarine University, Williams managed to drop numerous trays of food in the cafeteria earlier this month, causing unnecessary clean-ups.

“He’ll be ready for opening day,” said an obviously frustrated Mike Martz. “If not, I’ll dump a whole tube of super glue on his hands. But with the way he’s going, even that might not work.”

Michael Kloempken