An off-handed postgame comment by now-former Cubs pitcher Doug Davis following his horrific start against the offensively-challenged Giants has inspired manager Mike Quade to rethink his defensive alignment.

“Obviously, we don’t play anyone over the fence,” Davis said of his dismal effort, in which he surrendered a career-high 10 earned runs before being cut Wednesday.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea given our pitching staff,” Quade said after mulling it over for a few days. “We’re going to put Soriano on Waveland Avenue and maybe he can pick up a few fielding tips from the neighborhood ball hawks. We all know he’ll get plenty of chances out there.”

Major League Baseball would not immediately comment on whether a ball caught on the sidewalk would be recorded as an out or a home run.

“It’s an unusual strategy, but one that seems appropriate for the Cubs,” said a league official.

In pre-game warmups, Soriano was clearly out-played by 9-year old Lakeview resident Mickey McGarrigle, who made several running catches and snatched a few towering drives right in front of the Cubs misadventurous left fielder. It appeared Soriano was distracted by a nearby vendor selling corn on the cob.

“I yell ‘I Got It,’ but they don’t believe me out there,” Soriano said.

“If this works…” Quade said, trailing off. “Who knows? We may move Carlos Pena to the top of the visiting dugout to handle Castro’s heaves. We’ll do whatever it takes and get it right.”

By Dave Gallagher