White Sox outfielder Juan Pierre has responded to his early season struggles by growing a mustache in preparation for a shot at acting.

“I’m growing it out for a movie role I’ll be auditioning for. I have friends in L.A. that I still talk to from my days with the Dodgers, and rumor has it Hollywood is making a prequel to the Lethal Weapon series,” said Pierre. “Of course, I’ll be trying out for the role of Sgt. Roger Murtough, which had been portrayed by the great Danny Glover. They want to show his struggle on the force and his rise to Sergeant, before he proclaimed himself ‘too old for this shit.’”

Pierre said the time was right for a transition into acting.

“I’m playing bad, there’s no hiding that,” said Pierre. “This is my backup plan just in case the Sox give me the boot.”

Pierre’s teammates, meanwhile, have been mocking his interest in acting.

“They laughed at me,” he said. “But I told [Gordon] Beckham that if he also doesn’t start producing, he better grow out those blonde locks and practice on his Australian accent.”

By Brian Farrell

Brian Farrell