Cubs shortstop Starlin Castro will likely do battle for years to come for league batting champ honors. Castro’s fielding has been questioned, however, primarily because in remembrance of his childhood Thanksgivings in the Dominican Republic, he has been basting his glove in butter before every game.

“I have been basting my glove to remind me of my Thanksgivings back in Monte Cristi, and my grandmother, who traditionally basted the turkey in butter when I was a boy,” Castro said.

Cubs skipper Mike Quade thought he might speak with Castro about the existence of Thanksgiving in the Dominican Republic after a recent disastrous frame against the Rockies wherein Castro committed three errors because his glove and throwing hand were butter-soaked.

“I was going to tell Starlin that I wasn’t aware there was Thanksgiving in the D.R.,” Quade said. “I wanted to say that I thought Thanksgiving was the Harvest festival started by the Pilgrims, refugees from the Old World who nearly all died in the harsh climate. I wanted to conclude by saying to Starlin that in the Dominican Republic there are no real seasons, no Pilgrims and no harsh seasonal change, and that I furthermore was under the impression Thanksgiving was only an American holiday.”

But Quade decided not to cast any doubt on Dominican Republic Thanksgiving when he saw a dejected Castro walk with his head down into the dugout after that sub par inning. “I merely put my arm around Starlin’s shoulder,” Quade said. “And I told him to get a grip. Starlin volunteered not to baste his glove in butter anymore.”

By Rob C. Christiansen. Photoshop by Kurt Evans