Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau often raises the ire of refs and the terror level of his players by aggressively stepping out onto the basketball court during play. Now, Bulls brass has taken measures to make sure he doesn’t draw unnecessary penalties: they’ve purchased a harness and wire so he can attach himself to the rafters and float over his team.

“Coach likes to call all the plays,” said star point guard Derrick Rose. “But this will really give him a chance to position us just like how he wants it on the board. In fact, we’re thinking of all getting X’s tattooed on top of our heads.”

Thibodeau loved the idea, noting that he could use a rig like this wherever he goes: at dinner, in line at the grocery store, etc. He has, however, rejected management’s idea of dressing him up as Spiderman in order to attract a younger viewing audience.

By Dan Bradley. Photoshop by Pat Lamorte

Bandwagon Dan