The Harry Caray statue was vandalized Sunday, splattered with white spray paint that said “Sox” and a second, illegible word. “Right now our main suspect is Ozzie Guillen,” said Chicago Police spokesperson Brian Connors. “After reading his Twitter page, we realize “Sox” is the only word Mr. Guillen spells correctly on a regular basis.”

While most of the paint has already been removed, if examined closely one can still see what appears to be a series of S’s or Z’s, further implicating the Sox skipper. Just yesterday Guillen tweeted, “He trow a lot tizassssss,” while explaining why Aaron Rodgers should be the MVP of the Super Bowl. During last week’s storm he posted, “Yesssss a lot snow loved my first time ever.”