Injuries and inconsistent play have caused Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville to juggle player lines more than usual this season. Everybody from rarely-deployed defenseman Jordan Hendry to a seemingly random stream of Rockford Ice Hogs has made an appearance at forward for the Hawks.
But after Monday’s tough late loss to Colorado, Quenneville announced that his own mustache will join the team on the ice Wednesday instead of yet another call-up.
“The ‘energy line’ is expected to be tough,” said Quenneville. “Recent tests have confirmed that the gray streaks in my mustache are actual filaments of steel.”
The mustache will play center and be flanked by Hendry and the 6-ft. 8-in. John Scott, completing possibly the most ridiculous-looking line in team history. Yet it could have been stranger — some other possibilities for the roster spot included Duncan Keith’s teeth, Patrick Sharp’s winning smile and Jonathan Toews’ civil war-era sideburns.
“I heard it was the mustache’s idea,” said Scott in a whisper. “And around here, we listen to the ‘stash. Honestly, I wouldn’t wanna drop gloves with that thing.”
The mustache had no comment except to chew up a razor blade and spit it out.
By Dan Bradley. Photoshop by Pat Lamorte.