Longtime White Sox play-by-play man Ken “Hawk” Harrelson, known as one of the biggest homers in all of sports, finally ran out of excuses for the terrible play of his team.

During a recent loss to the Yankees, Harrelson tried blaming everything from the sun to the United Nations.

“I mean, you look out there, and the sun comes out when the Good Guys are in the field, then it goes back in the clouds when the Yanks are out there,” he lamented as New York took a two-run lead during a third. “I don’t know if ol’ George (Steinbrenner) has some sort of deal with the atmosphere, I just know we always got the dadgum sun in our eyes.”

Later, during a four-run sixth inning for the Yankees, Harrelson blamed a world-wide conspiracy.

“I mean, those sanctions they got over there with the U.N., with the Iraqis and the WMDs. Mercy!”

Finally, Harrelson just didn’t speak for the final two innings, leaving some awkward moments for broadcast partner Steve Stone, who was forced to carry on a conversation with himself.

“Another pop-up for Juan Pierre,” Stone said after Pierre hit his third pop-up of the game. “He’s really been struggling, hasn’t he, Steve? That’s right, Steve, he sure has.”

From the May 2010 issue by Matthew Wood. Click here to subscribe today!