The termination of Bulls head coach Vinny Del Negro will be announced later today by a strange-looking executive of whom no one has heard. The executive who goes by the name “Gar” apparently has “very important” responsibilities that no one can name.

“Oh yeah, Gar Forman,” said Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf. “Yeah yeah, um, he’s in charge of … you know … some very important things with our team. So important, in fact, that I can’t really get into it.”

According to his bio on, Forman was named Bulls GM last year. Prior to that, he’s best known for a scandalized tenure as an assistant coach at New Mexico State in the early ’90s. Still, no one knows exactly what he does, other than publicly fire the team’s coaches.

“Well, it’s not like I can fire Vinny,” said former GM and current VP of Basketball Operations John Paxson. “I mean, sure, I got in a fight with him and privately fired the guy, but I can’t do it publicly. That’s Gar’s job.”