The Blackhawks head trainer has revealed the list of items found in Joel Quenneville’s mustache. Fans have been clamoring for months for the list to be made public, but the organization has been hesitant since they consider his lip sweater to be sacred.
“His mustache’s mystique has done wonders for our marketing department,” said John McDonough. “That broom he has across his upper lip has generated more buzz about the Blackhawks than those chicks with the shovels!”
The list contains items like bits of food that he had eaten before games, such as poppy seeds from hot dog buns and bits of sausage from deep dish pizza.
The list also contains some nasty items, such as day-old boogers, trapped bugs, and fingernails from his nervous habit of biting his nails when games reach overtime.
Fans started spotting items in his mustache due to the clarity of broadcasting hockey in HD. Now that the NHL plans to start showing games in 3D, there’ll be nowhere to hide for those poppy seeds.
“We’re planning a marketing campaign around the items in his mustache,” said McDonough. “Identify the items in his stache, and win free Hawks tickets.”
From the April 2010 issue by Michael Kloempken. Click here to subscribe today!