Great news: The Heckler’s September issue has hit the streets. As usual, it’s packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. 
Among this issue’s headlines
Cubs News
Hendry mad he missed ‘Free Resume Day’ at Kinko’s; Never thought he’d use deal back in March


DeRosa brings Olympics to St. Louis; Further confirms Cubs really screwed up by letting him go 

Zambrano signs deal with Abflex as ‘before’ model 

Cubs get no-hit in BP; Quade proud of pitching performance, embarrassed for team 

Survey reveals Wrigley Field tours are more fun than actual games 

Bradley releases R&B album; Features single ‘Booed At Home’ 

Cubs’ descent from playoff race creates a sonic boom 

Johnsonville ‘Loserville’ billboard outside Wrigley takes it too far 

New postgame flags revealed on Wrigley scoreboard; ‘KA’ — “Kicked Ass” and  “LOO” — “Lucked One Out” for wins and “WB” — “We Blew” and “GKG” — “Got Kevin Gregged” for losses 

Tribune ad sales jump after signing deal to sell Cubs; Troubled company’s bad luck ends promptly 

Cubs blame last century’s bad luck on ‘Curse of Vine Line’ 

Woo-Woo in History: The 1969 Amazin’ Mets 

Sox News
Alexei Ramirez used as a kite; Elaborate prank by Pierzynski goes horribly wrong

Ozzie rubs eyes after White Sox error, misses three more errors; Team now has more miscues than entire co-ed softball league in Bridgeport 

Selig removes playoff berth for AL Central champ 

Bears/NFL News
Madden upset with Favre for breaking retirement pact

Favre retires in first quarter, cries to Rachel Nichols at halftime, unretires in 4th 

Over-excited Bears bronze Cutler’s arm before season 

Jealous Olsen crashes Cutler-Hester man date 

Lovie press conference even more boring without constant QB controversy 

Joe Buck’s forehead somehow 24 percent larger this season 

Vick criticized for barking out signals 

Bulls News
Benny the Bull Also ‘Benny the Enforcer’ says mob snitch

Derrick Rose hopes to squeeze one more scandal in before season 

Noah prepares for season by skipping pot, booze on Tuesdays; Also, more sex with models to improve cardio 

Blackhawks News
Toews caught hopping turnstiles in NYC subway

Heckler Columnist Joe Malonecki wonders about all the Sox trades and Screamin’ Johnny Blaze formally apologizes to Jerry Angelo

Follow The Heckler on Twitter & Facebook 




Pick up your free copy of The Heckler in Chicago today, or subscribe. 

Check out The Heckler Fan Pass: Get cool stuff and save big bucks 



Special thanks to all The Heckler’s sponsors:

Stretch Run Sporting Club & Grille
Get The Heckler Special: Burger, Beer & Bet for just $11.95 until July 30
544 N. LaSalle 
Mother Hubbard’s Sports Pub 
5 W. Hubbard St. 

The Fifty/50
2047 Division St

Joe’s Bar on Weed St.
940 W. Weed St.
A sports bar that actually shows sports. 110 TVs, outstanding patio with Jumbotron, great thin crust pizza, quarter beers on Tuesdays.

Cheetah Gym Chicago: Fit it in.
Andersonville, Bucktown, Edgewater and Opening in Logan Square later this year

Love Me Tenders 
Official Chicken of the Chicago Cubs
Picture yourself on the field for Cubs batting practice! Submit your game or home photo enjoying Love Me Tenders at for details
America Loves BBQ 
Combining two two American pastimes this season at Wrigley Field

Finley Dunne’s Tavern
3458 N. Lincoln 

Bud Light bleacher tix giveaways all summer; $2.50 Bud Light pints and bleacher ticket giveaways every Friday and much more
A&R Collectibles
888-667-SPORT (7767)
Enter HECKLER at checkout to save money on their amazing selection of unique memorabilia from all sports teams and great movies like Caddyshack.

Guthrie’s Tavern
1300 W Addison St
“Just a flyball away”: Beer specials every day. Over 75 board games