Brett Favre made his dubious return to the NFL doing what he does best—avoiding training camp and hoarding the media spotlight. But unlike previous seasons, his selfishness and indecisiveness has spilled into the regular season.

“I’ve lost my desire to play and the hits are more excruciating than ever, ” Favre, 39, told ESPN reporter Rachel Nichols following the first quarter of the Vikings’ season opener. “After careful consideration, I’ve decided to focus on my family and announce my retirement from the football.”

Favre then disappeared for the second quarter before being tracked down again by Nichols. The distraught QB was sobbing into his purple helmet.

“Now that I’ve had some time to clear my head, I realize how much I miss the game,” Favre cried, while wiping away tears. “Commissioner Goodell is working to get me reinstated in time for the fourth. I’ll have more details to share during my third quarter press conference.”

From the September 2009 issue by Brian Berns