Newly acquired Cubs outfielder Milton Bradley has developed a reputation for frequent temper tantrums that would shock a spoiled toddler. In the interests of protecting Bradley’s well-being and the Cubs cost of repairing hotel rooms, they have requested a custom padded room for Bradley when he stays at a visiting hotel.

Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster says the move is a necessary one.

“Sometimes when Milton gets angry, he runs full speed into a wall,” said Dempster. “How are we supposed to play baseball when our outfielder knocked himself out?”

Hot-tempered pitcher Carlos Zambrano already requires a padded room. Manager Lou Piniella supported the replication.

“We need to make sure both Zambrano and Bradley are protected in those rooms,” said Piniella. “Especially if they get some sugar in them, then all hell really breaks loose.”

heckler editorial staff