In an effort to improve his roster without adding payroll, White Sox G.M. Kenny Williams has pawned his team’s 2005 World Series trophy to free up more cash to sign an athletic center fielder.

“You’re never happy to see a valued member of the team move on,” said Williams. “It doesn’t matter if it’s an essential piece like Aaron Rowand or just something you’re hanging on to for sentimental value, like a World Series trophy or Juan Uribe.”

Williams was pleased to get $6,000 for the 35-pound sterling silver trophy, which Merle Slimski from Cicero Pawn intends to melt down and sell in bricks. But he was disappointed when he couldn’t come to an agreement on pawning 1B Paul Konerko.

“I was happy to get the trophy. The price of silver has shot through the roof lately,” said Merle. “But I wasn’t paying $50 for Konerko. I buy scratched-up DVDs that play better than he does.”

With $6,000 and the savings from trading Nick Swisher, Williams will now attempt to sign “an athletic center fielder who can bat leadoff.” Sources say Williams is looking at Kenny Lofton, Rickey Henderson and Duke Snider.

heckler editorial staff