Another game, another pathetic, wretched, sad, listless, lethargic, pitiful, weak, useless and feeble effort from the Bulls. (Thank you Mr. Thesaurus.)

But with the realization that not only the season, but perhaps their NBA careers could be over after a 102-88 loss to the Magic in Orlando Tuesday, Ben Gordon, Luol Deng and several other Bulls players began readying their resumes for life in corporate America–an act Gordon said was the smart thing to do.

“I don’t want to quit the NBA,” Gordon said. “But we’re all obviously all out of our league here. I took some accounting classes at UConn, so I might be able to fall back on that.

“Wherever we wind up after this, we’ll all have to brace for the change in quality of life. From what I’m told, normal companies don’t pay below-average employees like us huge, inflated salaries.”

As usual, the only bright spot for the Bulls was Andres Nocioni, whose ability to hustle under even the worst of situations is quickly becoming NBA legend. But as luck would have it, Nocioni left the game in the third quarter after a hard fall on his hip, and is now listed as day-to-day.

As if the pathetic loss, resume realizations and the injury to Nocioni weren’t enough, Ben Wallace and Joakim Noah were involved in a post-game argument about which player was more of a joke. Witnesses say that Deng had to diffuse the situation by assuring them that they’re both monumental jokes.


Number of the night: 1

Bulls beat writer for this fine publication who thoroughly regrets agreeing to cover this shameful lot of so-called basketball players.