Despite watching his team ride stellar efforts from Luol Deng, Ben Gordon and Ben Wallace to a 96-91 game one victory over the Miami Heat at the United Center on Saturday, coach Scott Skiles was upset. Some might even say he was “Steven Segal- pissed” the way the vein in his forehead was beating.

That’s because the efforts of one unfortunate Bulls point guard brought the not-so-even tempered coach’s blood to a boil.

“Kirk [expletive deleted] Hinrich,” Skiles said. “Even PJ Brown made a positive impact with two of the sweetest points he’s ever scored. But Kirk? What the hell did that jerk think he was doing?”

With more turnovers and fouls (nine total) than points and assists (five total), Skiles and fans are now calling into question which team Hinrich was actually playing for on Saturday.

“Seriously, I would’ve been better off putting a folding chair out there to bring the ball up,” Skiles said. “At least a folding chair could draw a charge.

I just hope Shaq hasn’t gotten to him and put him on the Heat payroll. I’d hate to have to break his arm.”

Despite the horrendous efforts from Hinrich, the Bulls were lifted to the win by a 33-point, eight-rebound effort from Luol “Can you believe Paxson once considered trading me for Pau Gasol?” Deng. Ben Gordon did his best Luol Deng impersonation, notching his first career double-double with 24 points and 11 assists.

Even Tyrus Thomas came up big with two huge fourth quarter blocks in a row, immediately followed by an alley-oop slam that brought the 22,183 raucous (and probably drunk) fans at the sold-out United Center to their feet.

But after the game, Skiles noted that the key players of the game were the refs, who felt sorry enough for the Bulls for Hinrich’s performance to issue Shaq six fouls and get him out of the game.

“I just want to thank the refs for their fairness,” Skiles said. “Without their help, I think Kirk would’ve blown the whole thing for us.”

Number of the weekend: 2.59
Minutes of rest Luol Deng had during his game-saving performance Saturday. Seriously, Paxson? You wanted to get rid of him for Pau Gasol? Shame on you.

heckler editorial staff