Family and friends of fallen pop princess Britney Spears decided the star needed to enter a rehab facility after learning that she had gotten a White Sox tattoo.

“We overlooked a lot of quirky behavior,” said family spokesperson Jim Morgan. “Marrying K-Fed, shaving her head, not wearing underwear–all that didn’t necessarily raise alarm. But getting a White Sox tattoo was a clear sign she’d gone around the bend. It’s too white trash even for this family.”

Spears’ tattoo, strategically placed on a patch of left-thigh cellulite, reads ‘Got Sox Pride’ in letters about an inch tall. According to Morgan, the Spears family did not know that she is a fan.  “We thought her interest in sports was limited to the WWF, but it makes sense that if she followed a baseball team, it’d be the White Sox.”

It is unclear how long the singer will remain in rehab, and any decision about whether to have the tattoo removed will wait until she is released.

“She’s not the first person to go on a wild bender, marry an idiot redneck, get pregnant twice and  wake up with a White Sox tattoo,” Morgan said.  “Some of those mistakes you just have to live with, but at least we can do something about the tattoo.”

heckler editorial staff