For Bulls fans, Monday night seemed like déjà vu. Watching their team play three strong quarters of basketball, then relinquish the lead with less than three minutes to play has been an all too familiar theme this season. Same [expletive deleted], different day.

Last night was no exception that that theme as the Bulls lost 94-87 to the Orlando Magic at the United Center. The Bulls were resoundingly out-rebounded by a bigger, “oafier” Magic team. After the game, general manager John Paxson admitted that he should’ve traded for another big man.

“We sure could’ve used that bearded giant, [Pau] Gasol out there tonight,” Paxson said. “I’m looking into the legality of putting lifts on our players’ shoes to make them taller. I have a petition into the league about it now.”

The Bulls played terribly and honestly, that’s all there really is to say. No highlights. No interesting off-court tidbits or whatnot. Nothing. But for the sake of a smidge of journalistic integrity, here’s an impressive stat from last night’s game: Magic center Dwight Howard dominated the game with a triple-double: 21 points, 16 rebounds and, get this: 11 turnovers.

Sportswriters who cover the Bulls, however, couldn’t be happier at the recurring theme since it comes with the luxury of repurposing old articles to save time.

“Well, when the Bulls lose, it’s always for the same reason,” The Heckler’s Bulls beat writer Justin Allen said. “All I have to do is change the team names and the scores and voila! I’ve got myself a game recap. It’s foolproof!”

Number of the night: 1
Points PJ Brown had last night. He’s really, really good.

heckler editorial staff