Well that does it, Bulls fans. The season is officially over. With a resounding 96-85 win over the Dallas Mavericks before an unusually drunk and loud capacity crowd at the United Center, general manager John Paxson has cancelled the rest of the season.

“We beat the hottest and best team in the entire league,” Paxson said. “I just don’t see another game like this happening all year, so why keep playing?”

Forward PJ Brown, who played especially well last night, echoed Paxson’s sentiments.

“I got a nice little rhythm and just kept shooting,” Brown said. “I’ll treasure this. I don’t know if I’ll have another one like this the rest of the year.” (Editor’s note: This is an actual quote. It’s not made up. Good to see we have players who have loads of confidence, huh?)

Number of the Night: 21,822
People who were drunk at the UC last night and thought they were cheering on the Bears (children included).

heckler editorial staff