The early success of the Bears has some fans in such a frenzy they’re changing their name to “Lovie” after the team’s head coach, Lovie Smith. It doesn’t seem to matter, male or female, everybody is switching their given birth names.

Lovie Walker, a Dan Ryan construction worker, filed for a name change after the Bears 37-6 win over the defending NFC Champion Seattle Seahawks.

“I was foreman of my crew when I went by my previous name, ‘Roscoe.'” said Walker. “Since the name change, I’ve been demoted to a sign holder and none of the guys seem to respect me. I don’t care though. My favorite football team is undefeated thanks to my namesake.”

Women have taken to the name change too. The former Megan Hawkins, mother of one, says her daughter has become more loving of her “new” mother, Lovie.

“As a parent, I think it’s helpful to have such an affectionate word used so frequently in the household. Before, I couldn’t even get her to say ‘Good Morning.’ After the name change, she can’t help herself from saying, ‘I love you, Lovie.'”

The former Sam Barnes, who frequents the bars in Chicago’s Alternative-lifestyle on Halsted St., has noticed a rapid change in his love life since the name change.

“Sometimes good looks and a nice smile don’t get you the dates desired. Ever since I changed my name to ‘Lovie’, well, the boys just can’t seem to resist me.”

heckler editorial staff