Well, I lost 10 large betting that less than $25 million of the Cubs payroll would hit the disabled list before Ken Griffey Jr., but you don’t win championships in April and you don’t make fortunes then either. Rafael Furcal should have his probation revoked for costing me that sort of cash. A successful May will put us on the road to recovery and back in the good graces of our local bookies. Here are Pete’s picks for this month:

25 —

Percent of Cubs fans that are upset over Derrek Lee’s injury because of the ramifications to their fantasy teams.



September 12 —

Day Rafael Furcal better have the Pope-mobile reserved for his arrival in Chicago.



329 —

Average amount in dollars a San Francisco Giant collects in monthly Social Security payments.



March 3 —

Last day Jim Thome bothered packing his glove.



March 3 —

Last day Brian Anderson bothered packing his bat.



May 5 —

First Chicago columnist doing a “what if” piece on the Elton Brand – Tyson Chandler trade.



76 —

Number of fans likely to be hit by errant Ronny Cedeno throws this year, breaking Shawon Dunston’s team record.



134 —

Gallons of holy water Dusty Baker will need to keep the Cubs healthy for the rest of 2006.



21 —

Percentage of ESPN viewers who must go through Mel Kiper Jr. detox in May

From the May, 2006 issue

heckler editorial staff