"A lot of people assumed we'd do something that made sense like split the teams up by geography or name them after our most famous alums, but why take the logical route?" said commissioner Jim Delany. "And there's no way we're changing it, no matter how stupid even our most die-hard supporters believe it to be."
"Seriously? I thought every American was pumped up for today's big game," said Torensen, who now lives in Chicago. "I mean, c'mon. No. 11 vs. No. 23. This is the stuff that dreams are made of."
In response to a very boring year and Northwestern being relevant for the Rose Bowl, Big Ten Football has announced a name change for their Leaders and Legends Divisions: the Lousy and Lackluster Divisions.