The Korea Times last week erroneously reported that the Chicago Bears had won the Stanley Cup. While Chicagoans–and the average American sports fan–found humor in the headline, new Bears General Manager Ryan Pace discovered a window of opportunity.
“It’s no secret we’ve been shopping Jay [Cutler] and have been unsuccessful in the process,” admitted Pace. “His bloated contract and lack of supporting credentials has clearly handcuffed our ability to improve. However, when news of this championship broke, it undoubtedly boosted his market value overnight!”
Pace reportedly reached a deal that will ship Cutler to the South Korean men’s national hockey team for a South Korean to-be-named-later. Cutler’s position on the team has yet to be determined but he has already been ruled out as team captain.