After an unprecedented move to keep as many Chicago Blackhawks fans out of the stadium as possible, management at Tampa Bay Lightning’s home ice, Amalie Arena, has taken an even tougher stance by banning Hawks players from wearing Chicago jerseys while playing in Tampa.

An intern at Amelie Arena, who wished to remain anonymous stated, “Look. Nobody should come into our house wearing their colors. This is our stompin’ grounds!”

When further pressed for answers, the intern became agitated.

“When you’re in Tampa, you wear Tampa Bay colors. You’re not in Chicago. We don’t care how you do it up North!” he shouted. “The hockey team should be grateful we’re even allowing them to play. You know how we feel about only letting people in who prove their home has a Florida zip code. If the Blackhawks don’t want to change, we can relocate them to another part of the arena.”

In response to the move, United Center’s management gave a press release allowing anybody to enter the Chicago arena, provided they drink at least two beers and eat at least one Da Burger.

Al Gridlock