Most of the year, Chicago Blackhawks fan Megan Benson is glad she doesn’t have facial hair. But as the NHL postseason approaches, she’s become increasingly depressed about her inability to grow a playoff beard.
“Sure, I could wear a fake beard made of yarn or something, but it’s not the same,” she said, despondent. “I honestly don’t give a crap about whether it’s attractive. I just want to support the team.”
In lieu of a playoff beard, Benson has carefully cultivated a playoff mullet, shaving the hair above her temples in the same fashion as Patrick Kane and Brandon Saad.
“If I didn’t have the playoff mullet, I don’t know what I’d do,” said Benson. “Oh wait, yeah I do. I’d still root for the Hawks and not be bald, unlike my boyfriend. Score one for the ladies.”