While not everyone loves Crane Kenney, the Cubs president today was reminded he has the undying love of at least one fan when he received the Valentine’s Day he sent himself in an annual tradition.
“This year’s card is particularly gushy,” said Kenney, brushing back a tear as he read the romantic words he’d written to himself. “It’s always great to remember someone loves you more than anything in the world, even if that someone is yourself.”
Kenney included in this year’s card a list of achievements, including his University of Michigan Law degree and overseeing the franchise record 3.3 million Wrigley Field attendance in 2008. Omitted from the list was the 20-year contract Kenney brokered with the Wrigleyville rooftops and the nearly 300 losses his team has tallied the last three seasons.
Kenney said he chooses to focus on the positive when celebrating Valentine’s Day with the love of his life.
“Valentine’s Day is all about unconditional love and ignoring the negatives, even if that list of negatives is extremely egregious and cost the company you work for millions upon millions of dollars,” said Kenney. “At least that’s what the loveable scamp who sent me this Valentine’s Day card keeps telling me.”