Following a lackluster performance and loss to the hated Canucks Monday night, the Blackhawks were battling against more than just a very physical Canucks team. It has been reported that a terrible fart delivered by Blackhawks center Dave Bolland was to blame for the loss.

During Coach Q’s pregame speech Dave Bolland unleashed a fart so foul that Coach Q. had to pull the players out into the tunnel to finish the speech. An unconfirmed report said that Michael Frolik vomited while sitting next to Bolland.

After a disappointing first period, the Hawks returned to the locker room only to find that the foul odor was somehow still waiting for them.

“I couldn’t believe that fart somehow stayed in the locker room and I think got worse,” said Brent Seabrook. “It smelled like a dirty diaper left out in the sun.”

Again the team sought refuge in the hallway, which had a noticeable effect on them as they came out in the second period flat and couldn’t gain any momentum.

“I don’t know what Dave’s been eating but we are putting him on a strict diet for a couple of days,” said Quenneville after the game. “I have never smelled anything like that. It’s like if you microwaved a bowl of diarrhea and then spilled it on a wet dog who just swam through a swamp.”

Bolland was reached for comment but all he could do was cover his mouth and giggle uncontrollably.

Matt H.