A few days after the Bears parted ways with star linebacker Brian Urlacher, a new team leader has emerged in the form of QB Jay Cutler.

“With Brian gone, I have to be the new face of the franchise,” said Cutler. “And [GM Phil] Emery told me to smile more. So as a true leader, I took it upon myself to get Botox injections. I’m that committed to this team.”

While some of his teammates were impressed with the gesture, others were shocked and even a little appalled.

“It’s grotesque,” said Julius Peppers. “Every time he smiles it looks like he’s in pain.”