President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner held a joint press conference today moments after firing Donald Fehr, who had been handling negotiations between Congress and the White House on the delicate “sequestration” issues facing the nation.

“Looking back on it now, we probably should’ve realized this wasn’t going to end well,” said Boehner. “We’ve just been so focused on our own issues, we never checked his NHL or MLB references. Big mistake.”

The President agreed.

“[Fehr] said something about long-term stalemates being part of his modus operandi, but I thought he was just joking around given the severity of the situation here,” said Obama. “Unfortunately, it seems he was serious. On the bright side, with Donald out of the process, we should be able to devise a solution in a matter of hours, I’d think.”