Despite their recent troubles, NFL replacement refs will eventually become as revered by fans as the 1987 NFL replacement players.

“Sure, it was difficult at first,” said Goodell, referring to the ’87 scabs. “But over time, these guys have become loved by everyone and I can only assume many of them ended up in the Hall of Fame. Plus they really helped the sport. I mean look at one of the quarterbacks from the era, Sean Payton. He’s done wonderful things for the league and it all started as a scab.”

Likewise, says Goodell, the NFL refs will soon find a special place in the hearts of fans, coaches, players and the media.

“Once they learn the rules, people won’t be nearly as pissed,” promised Goodell. “Except maybe those morons in Green Bay.”

Mark Pants