10 – Will Sean Payton don a fake mustache/security guard outfit and try to coach Saints from sidelines?
9 – Will Calvin Johnson face a defense that guards him with all 11 defenders and still score pretty easily?
8 – Rob Gronkowski more likely: 16 TDs or 16 VDs?
7 – What will go out first, Peyton Manning’s neck or his ability to sell Buicks?
6 – Tom Brady: can he get ANY more dreamy?
5 – Will the Jets score an offensive TD before week 8?
4 – First WR to get arrested: Dez Bryant or Brandon Marshall?
3 – What will look more feminine by mid-season, the hair of the Green Bay linebackers or Tim Tebow’s throwing motion?
2 – Will the defending champion NY Giants eschew their base 4-3 defense on 35% of opponents’ snaps in red zone situations in third quarters of road games vs. divisional opponents in the second half of the season?
1 – Will Ndamukong Suh finally eat a live quarterback during a game?
1a – Will Roger Goodell become the first commissioner to suffer a concussion?

Patrick O. Elia