Theo Epstein filled out his top ranks Wednesday, hiring Jed Hoyer and Jason McLeod from the Padres to serve as GM and head of scouting and player development respectfully, a move Epstein hopes will bring some of “that special Padres magic” to the Cubs.

“The Padres went 71-91 this year, which is the exact same record the Cubs had,” said Epstein. “You can’t teach that kind of symmetry. So we see no reason to believe there will be a drop-off in when Jed and Jason join our club.”

Epstein said he was also looking to poach executives from the Royals, who also went 71-91 this year.

“Yes, it would be great to have a few Royals execs here, but it might be difficult to get them because I hear the Nationals and Rockies are making a strong push,” said Epstein.”We can only hope they decide Cubs baseball is the brand of mediocre baseball they’d like to be associated with.”