Several Bears players have been reported missing north of the border after a close, hard-fought win against the winless Buffalo Bills in Toronto. Coach Lovie Smith said he heard the players are attempting to defect to the Canadian Football League due to frustrations over the team’s prospects for the rest of the season.
“Apparently several of our key team members think they’d have a better chance of winning in the CFL playoffs, which I guess begin next week,” said Smith. “If that’s what they want to do, it’s not like I can stop them. I’m only their head coach.”
Smith refused to list the team members who defected, but sources revealed linebacker Brian Urlacher and kicker Robbie Gould were among the six or seven players fleeing the team.
“Urlacher realizes he doesn’t have much time left to win a championship, so he’ll take whatever he can get, even if it’s a Grey Cup,” said one source. “And Gould is worried he might be losing his mojo after missing his only field goal attempt Sunday, but that thing would have been worth one point in the CFL. And just like Urlacher, Robbie will take what he can get.”
While the players are hoping to defect, they might have a tough time finding CFL teams interested in them.
“Oh gosh, I don’t think we’d want someone from the Bears, eh,” said Toronto head coach Jim Barker whose Argonauts take on Hamilton. “Sure they have a winning record but look at who they’ve beaten and how they’ve won. We just don’t think they’re that good, eh. We’ll roll the dice in the playoffs against the the Tiger-Cats with the guys who got us here, and that’s not anyone on the Chicago Bears.”