Inspired by their decision Monday to relocate the Harry Caray statue a block north to the Bud Light Bleachers entrance, the Cubs have moved Derrek Lee to Atlanta. Lee, still a sure handed first baseman, has mysteriously become a statuesque stiff at the plate for the Cubs this year, hitting only .251 with 16 home runs, 56 RBI, and many GIDPs and strikeouts.

“The Billy Williams statue should replace Lee,” Cubs fan Charlie Hunt said. “Can’t the Cubs put a statue of a Bud Light beer can outside the bleachers?” Hunt added. “It would visually explain Harry’s reach.”

Cubs president Crane Kenney said it’s a misconception that Lee was traded to the Atlanta Braves.

“We sent Lee to Atlanta for his own good,” Kenney said. “Atlanta has fewer pigeons than Chicago.”

By Rob C. Christiansen