Great news: The Heckler’s October issue has hit the streets. As usual, it’s packed full of unbelievable Chicago sports news. 

Among this issue’s headlines
Bears/NFL News
Soldier Field gets new shag carpet from Empire; Park District pays for next-day installation 

37% population rise after Urlacher injury predicted

Hester found on Field Museum tour after meandering punt return; Also reportedly seen on stage at Northerly Island

Former Bears busts Salaam, Enis give fellow RB Forte advice; ‘Smoke more weed’ and ‘Get really fat’

Miller Lite sponsors bottleneck of fans leaving Soldier Field

Moment of indigestion mistaken for excitement from Lovie Smith

Park District agrees to place Payton statue at Soldier Field 50-yard line

NFL Prison League debuts to solid ratings

Blackhawks News

McDonough secretly hoping Bears tank; ‘Would be great for Hawks ticket sales’

Huet takes credit for Hawks’ big comeback against Flames; ‘Wouldn’t have happened without me’

Report: Kane missed season opener in Finland to spend day at Euro Disney

Bulls News

Pistons find out Gordon is only 5-foot-2

Bulls fan still doesn’t know who team drafted

Sports Round Up
Local teen reclaims stolen possessions from ‘Monsters in the Morning’ set

Paterno eyeglasses used to fix damaged Hubble Telescope lens

Serena Williams distracts judge while Venus uses trash can to take out opponent

Cubs News
Kevin Gregg finds job at Olive Garden; ‘I’m really good at serving meatballs’

Piniella confused by end of season; ‘We don’t get to lose three straight in the playoffs again?’

Delusional fan brags about great deal he got on Cubs playoff tickets

Hendry uses Miles as trade bait to lure Halladay to Cubs

White Sox News
South Sider welches on promise to cut mullet if Sox miss playoffs

Sox players turn up TV to drown out late-season Guillen rant after shutout; ‘I won’t let my players quit on me,’ skipper says to deaf ears

2016 Wrap Up
Chicago Olympic committee regrets sending Obama instead of Ronnie Woo-Woo

Daley blames Cubs, confused by voting process; ‘What do you mean IOC members can only vote once?’ asks mayor

Screamin’ Johnny Blaze says we don’t need the Olympics

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Special thanks to all The Heckler’s sponsors:
Stretch Run Sporting Club & Grille
Get The Heckler Special: Burger, Beer & Bet for just $11.95
544 N. LaSalle 

Mother Hubbard’s Sports Pub 
5 W. Hubbard St. 

The Fifty/50
2047 Division St

Joe’s Bar on Weed St.
940 W. Weed St.
A sports bar that actually shows sports. 110 TVs, outstanding patio with Jumbotron, great thin crust pizza, quarter beers on Tuesdays.

Cheetah Gym Chicago: Fit it in.
Andersonville, Bucktown, Edgewater and Opening in Logan Square later this year

Love Me Tenders 
Official Chicken of the Chicago Cubs

America Loves BBQ 
Combining two two American pastimes this season at Wrigley Field

Finley Dunne’s Tavern
3458 N. Lincoln 

$3 Coors pints every Friday, any game you want on TV, the best popcorn in the city and much more

A&R Collectibles
888-667-SPORT (7767)
Enter HECKLER at checkout to save money on their amazing selection of unique memorabilia from all sports teams and great movies like Caddyshack.

Guthrie’s Tavern
1300 W Addison St
“Just a flyball away”: Beer specials every day. Over 75 board games