Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Goodell wins Rock, Paper, Scissors standoff, announces Payton suspension instead of Peyton

"We agreed if I won, it would be spelled Payton with an A," said a relieved Goodell. "If the kid from Dartmouth won, it would have been Peyton with an E."

Goodell suspends himself for allowing Bountygate to happen on his watch

Hours after Roger Goodell levied massive suspensions to the New Orleans GM, head coach, assistant coach and former defensive coordinator, the NFL commissioner suspended himself -- without pay -- for a year, acknowledging his role in "allowing the Saints bounty system to occur on my watch."

Goodell absolves Gregg Robinson, admits he used to like Rosie from those Bounty commercials...

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell today absolved former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams of any responsibility for the recent bounty hunting controversy after Williams admitted he was influenced by Rosie from the old Bounty paper towel commercials.

Goodell: Presence of Boba Fett and Dog the Bounty Hunter on Saints sideline should...

At the time, Saints coach Sean Payton said the famed hired guns were with the team "strictly for entertainment purposes," but it now seems there was much more involved.

Fans shocked to learn terrible Saints defenders paid for anything besides missed tackles

Given the team's porous, 24th-ranked defense, NFL fans were shocked to learn the New Orleans Saints paid their players to injure opponents last season.

Stern rips Will Ferrell’s intro for failing to include pyrotechnics and booming hip-hop

While many fans in attendance at Wednesday night's Hornets-Bulls game enjoyed Will Ferrell's offbeat player introductions, some of basketball's elite minds weren't the least bit amused.

Marino vows to hold onto NutriSystem ads after Brees breaks passing record

“He’ll never take that from me,” gurgled Marino. Sobbingly, he picked his head up, stared at the three reporters in the room and muttered, “I’m in the best shape of my life. And I eat pizza, pasta, and even burgers.”